This lay report is a little late since this actually happened last month, but here goes anyway. I was walking around Trafalgar square and I saw a girl I liked the look of, so I went up to her and opened my big fat mouth. Here’s how the conversation went:
Me: Hi, how’re you doing? I just thought you looked cute so I decided to come over and see what you were like.
Her: Mumble mumble mumble
Me: You’ll have to speak up I can’t hear you.
Her (louder): You just can’t go around telling girls that they’re cute.
Me (starting to laugh): Are you for real?? I was paying you a compliment.
Her (getting angrier): You can’t go around doing that. It’s harassment.
Me: I can do what I like.
Her (yelling now): You’re taking advantage and abusing women, I can’t believe that you think you can get away with this shit.
I realise this is not heading anywhere constructive, so I turn around and start to walk away.
Her (yelling after me): Don’t you walk away from me you scumbag.
Me (angry now): Fuck off
She continues yelling incoherently as I stride away.
That wasn’t the Latvian.
The Latvian was the girl I approached immediately after the shrieking lunatic. When I have a negative experience like this, I try to approach the first half-decent girl as soon as possible after the event. I do this deliberately, to flush the negativity away before it can fester and grow into a mood that ruins your afternoon. This turned out to be an excellent move.
I saw a little squirrel ambling along dreamily and pounced.
I used Nick Krauser’s back-story assumption stack opener, which sounds complicated but isn’t. Basically you take a guess at where the girl is from and invent a silly back story for her. In this case I guessed that the girl was Latvian so I opened her and told her a silly story about how I thought she grew up in some Latvian village and worked on a farm in the middle of nowhere.
I accidentally got it 100% right, she really was Latvian and actually had grown up on a farm in the middle of nowhere. Then I correctly guessed her age, after which she was convinced I was psychic. Sometimes cold reads can go spectacularly right. We chatted for a bit before I took her number and left.
I followed up with her the following weekend. She wasn’t a big texter so it was a pretty logical back and forth, she was quite willing to come see me and we went for a long walk around south bank. I took her into a coffee shop, then we walked and I kissed her a couple of times before going back to my house, whereupon I threw her onto my bed and ravaged her with no resistance whatsoever.
I didn’t really do anything too special for this lay, the number close was done in under ten minutes and the date lasted for a couple of hours of generic comfort-building stuff before we walked back to my house. The girl was open, liked me and had probably decided that she would have sex with me the second time I kissed her.